"Tranny" and the Need for Grace

We visited family recently and one member had a borrowed copy of "Tranny" by Laura Jane Grace. Grace was formerly a male and frontman of a band I had never heard of (in an angsty genre I never listen to). So I had no preconceptions when I picked up the memoir, other than the title was intriguing. Plus, the title and front matter gave no indication as to whether the epithet was owned or disowned. (There was no dust jacket.)

It opens with the writer as a very young child, idolizing and aping Madonna. It's not immediately clear whether it's not a girl pretending to be said Madonna. I mention this only because I have a problem with anyone wanting to be like Madonna at all. She's not worthy of emulating, although she is talented at least as a performer. (I've only heard a few of her songs and she's mostly posturing, so I have no idea of her vocal talents.)

I read the first section about her childhood and the last bit where she transitions. Apparently most of the in-between is a band story and had plenty of drugs and alcohol, so I don't think I missed much. But somewhere in there Grace describes watching a beautiful woman during a show and wanting to be her. Grace describes experiencing a profound alienation from her body (while a male). (I've been trying to find the quote.) Finally, after years of turning to drugs, alcohol, and sex as an anesthetic, Tom finally decides to go all in becoming feminine. He/She chooses the name Laura Jane Grace.

Laura Jane's story doesn't end in a triumphant crescendo. It isn't clear that it's quiet acceptance either. Laura writes of her dissolving marriage and her anxiety over whether her daughter will accept the shift from "Daddy" to Mommy. (Her daughter's acceptance is unclear -- the girl was only about 6 at the time, if I remember correctly.) But Grace's identity is firstly wrapped up in her musical career, and everything else after. She finds newfound acceptance after her transition from fans and media that she didn't find in the anarchist-punk music crowd prior.

The name Grace seems rather ironic in a life barren of grace. Hers is a sad story. But I think it's good to sit with her story and listen. Anger is not an appropriate reaction. Her sorrows are probably not over. But then, nobody's troubles are ever over -- we are born to trouble, not to happily-ever-afters. Happier-ever-after, maybe. Reborn for eternal joy at the end of pilgrims' progress. We have no need to make our neighbors' lives harder than sin already does. So please be gracious to the grace-lacking.




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