On the Giving of Gifts
First of all, Mr. Hitchens takes a swipe at the Protestant Church:
Yet this is hardly subversive at all. Religious sermons against the "commercialization" of Christmas have also been a staple of the season ever since I can remember. A root-and-branch resistance to the holiday spirit would have to be a lot tougher than that. It's fairly easy to be a charter member of the Tom Lehrer Club, which probably embraces a fair number of the intellectual classes and has sympathizers even in the most surprising families.
But the thing about the annual culture war that would probably most surprise those who want to "keep the Christ in Christmas" is this: The original Puritan Protestants regarded the whole enterprise as blasphemous. Under the rule of Oliver Cromwell in England, Christmas festivities were banned outright. The same was true in some of the early Pilgrim settlements in North America.
Last year I read a recent interview with the priest of one of the oldest Roman Catholic churches in New York, located downtown and near Wall Street. Taking a stand in favor of Imam Rauf's "Ground Zero" project, he pointed to some parish records showing hostile picketing of his church in the 18th century. The pious protestors had been voicing their suspicion that a profane and Popish ceremonial of "Christ Mass" was being conducted within.
Now, that was a time when Americans took their religion seriously. But we know enough about Puritans to suspect that what they really disliked was the idea of a holiday where people would imbibe strong drink and generally make merry. (Scottish Presbyterians did not relax their hostility to Yuletide celebrations until well into the 20th century.) And the word "Yule" must be significant here as well, since pagans of all sorts have been roistering at the winter solstice ever since records were kept, and Christians have been faced with the choice of either trying to beat them or join them.
However, that said, Mr. Hitchens rather sympathizes with the Puritanism's reputed objection to merry-making. He throws in his lot:
You would have to be religiously observant and austere yourself, then, to really seek a ban on Christmas.
However, his Real Objection to Christmas is the gift giving:
But it can be almost as objectionable to be made to take part in something as to be forbidden to do so. . . . . One of my many reasons for not being a Christian is my objection to compulsory love. How much less appealing is the notion of obligatory generosity. To feel pressed to give a present is also to feel oneself passively exerting the equivalent unwelcome pressure upon other people.
I don't think I have been unusually unfortunate with my family and friends, but I present as evidence my tie rack. Nobody who knows me has ever seen me wear a tie except under protest, and the few that I do possess of my own volition are accidental trophies, "given" to me by the maitre d's of places where neckwear is compulsory. Yet somehow I possess a drawerful of new, unopened examples of these useless items of male apparel.
Nobody derived any pleasure from either the giving or the receiving, and it's appalling to see what some stores feel they can charge for a tie. Do I blush to think of some of my reciprocal gestures? Sure I do. Don't pretend not to know what I am talking about. It's like the gradual degradation of another annual ritual, whereby all schoolchildren are required to give valentines to everybody in the class. Nobody's feelings are hurt, they tell me, but the entire point of sending a valentine in the first place has been deliberately destroyed. If I feel like giving you a gift I'll try and make sure that (a) it's worth remembering and (b) that it comes as a nice surprise. (I like to think that some of my valentines in the past packed a bit of a punch as well.)
It seemed odd to me that a bachelor would give so much grief over "forced generosity." Except that I did my research and found that Mr. Hitchens' has been married twice. At any rate, he has been free to make his own traditions and his friends should know him sufficiently well enough not to expect him to follow convention. But a further absurdity than that: consider the irony of a man who has made a career out of independence from, and not caring for, silly cultural conventions now objecting to being forced into anything.
Here's a fun counterpoint from Dan Ariely:
Is It Irrational to Give Holiday Gifts?
Many of my economist friends have a problem with gift-giving. They view the holidays not as an occasion for joy but as a festival of irrationality, an orgy of wealth-destruction.
Rational economists fixate on a situation in which, say, your Aunt Bertha spends $50 on a shirt for you, and you end up wearing it just once (when she visits). Her hard-earned cash has evaporated, and you don't even like the present! One much-cited study estimated that as much as a third of the money spent on Christmas is wasted, because recipients assign a value lower than the retail price to the gifts they receive. Rational economists thus make a simple suggestion: Give cash or give nothing.
But behavioral economics, which draws on psychology as well as on economic theory, is much more appreciative of gift giving. Behavioral economics better understands why people (rightly, in my view) don't want to give up the mystery, excitement and joy of gift giving.
In this view, gifts aren't irrational. It's just that rational economists have failed to account for their genuine social utility. So let's examine the rational and irrational reasons to give gifts.
Some gifts, of course, are basically straightforward economic exchanges. This is the case when we buy a nephew a package of socks because his mother says he needs them. It is the least exciting kind of gift but also the one that any economist can understand.
A second important kind of gift is one that tries to create or strengthen a social connection. The classic example is when somebody invites us for dinner and we bring something for the host. It's not about economic efficiency. It's a way to express our gratitude and to create a social bond with the host.
Another category of gift, which I like a lot, is what I call "paternalistic" gifts—things you think somebody else should have. I like a certain Green Day album or Julian Barnes novel or the book "Predictably Irrational," and I think that you should like it, too. Or I think that singing lessons or yoga classes will expand your horizons—and so I buy them for you.
A paternalistic gift ignores the preferences of the person getting the gift, which tends to drive economists crazy, but it may actually change those preferences for the better. Of course, you might mess up by giving a paternalistic gift that someone hates, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
A holiday gift can straddle these categories. Instead of picking a book from your sister's Amazon wish list, or giving her what you think she should read, go to a bookstore and try to think like her. It's a serious social investment.
The great challenge lies in making the leap into someone else's mind. Psychological research affirms that we are all partial prisoners of our own preferences and have a hard time seeing the world from a different perspective. But whether or not your sister likes the book, it may give her joy to think about you thinking of her.
My final category of gift is one that somebody really wants but would feel guilty buying for themselves. This category shouldn't exist, according to standard economic theory: If you really liked it and could afford it, you'd buy it.
For me, fancy pens meet this description. I don't use pens that much, but I'd be pleased to get a really nifty one (a Porsche 911 would be OK, too). When my students defend their dissertations, I ask everyone on the Ph.D. committee to sign the required forms with an expensive pen, and then I give the pen to the student. It's a prototypical good gift, because it's something that they would probably feel guilty about buying for themselves, plus it has positive associations as a memento of the day.
Behavioral economics has one more lesson for gift givers: If your goal is to maximize a social connection, don't give a perishable gift like flowers or chocolates. True, people enjoy them, and you don't want to impose by giving something more permanent. But what are you trying to maximize? Is your goal to avoid imposing on them or for them to remember you?
For a durable impression, better to give a vase or a painting. Even if your friends don't like it that much, they'll think about you more often (though maybe not in the most positive terms).
Better yet, give a gift that gets used intermittently. A painting often just fades into the attentional background. An electric mixer, when used, gets noticed.
I like to buy people high-end headphones. They get used intermittently, so I can imagine that every time you put them on, you will think of me. Also, they're a luxury—the kind of thing that people have a hard time buying for themselves. Best of all perhaps, they're intimate: When I give someone headphones, I can think of myself whispering in their ears.
And maybe, when they use the headphones, they'll remember you whispering to them or even kissing their ears. Has anyone ever thought of a kiss after you hand them cash?
We have reproduced here in full "Is It Irrational to Give Gifts?" by Dan Ariely from the Wall Street Journal. We have an online subscription, so I don't know if you can access it. (I don't have the password, so I'm not logging out to see! Our subscription lapses soon, so I'm taking advantage of whatever I can.) I imagine that you can find both Ariely and Hitchens' writing somewhere.
But don't you love it when you are inscrutable to computers, logarithms, mathematical models and scientific explanations? Oh yes, humans are cool.
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